love the person or the idea of the person ?

ive been having some catch-up times with good friends n naturally, we talk abt relationships. things like, is the ex still bugging u? hows the current one? any scandals or omg-i-need-to-tell-you(s)? this, n coupled with coincidence? that my conversations recently have been abt relationships. after listening, digesting n formulating my friends' love lives, it has occurred to me that a) some love the person, for who he/she is, but cant cope with the lifestyle as yet. b) some love the idea/lifestyle that this person represents, but how much do they really love him/her? others, thankfully have found their all-in-1 :) [that doesnt mean they dont have other problems cos love, is truly impossibly complicated. duh]

a) they truly love the person, but cant/still thinking whether they can accept living this lifestyle with their love. in other words, u know u love this person n wanna be with this person, but u also know ur future will somewhat be in the shits. so this is abt 2 girls. n they question themselves, what abt my parents? what abt the future? so yes u can adopt a kid, but how will the kid grow up to be? can a r/s last forever if there isnt something in common (eg, a kid) to hold 2 pple together? do u have the enough confidence in believing in urself that u will be as successful despite going down this alternative road? or r we simply deluding ourselves that yea, LOVE can supercede EVERYTHING, n all u need is love?

b)this one is tricky. i only managed to formulate this after talking awhile.not many pple realise this but they love who they love, because of who/what this person represents, or that this person fits into their ideal r/s.[they usually assume they love the person like in a)]. example, is being with a man n getting married ur ideal plan n now loving a girl simply screws things up? so then, do u really love your man or the idea of a man? (vice versa)
in another eg, that this person fits ur 'ideal' bill n so, yes, he/she is the one,period. 'i mean, he's in a band n he drives a porsche!' so with this, u know ur future, but how much do u love?

so maybe all we really need is love.but what is love? its somewhat apparent that in both a) n b), there is some love. so then, can u half-love? n if u can, n have been so far, can u continue to do so? is it really worth investing ur time in it? n how much time do u have left? [its a sad truth but girls do have a shelf life :( ]
after lena, i believe more than ever that it doesnt matter what we do, but at the end of the day, we dont regret doing it, or not doing it for that matter. till u see this for urself n understand what it really means, this will always be just another cliche.